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Christmas Rescue

Sat, 06 Dec 2025 18:09:35 GMT

Finding peace in the midst of Christmas chaos.

In our house, it usually starts in July. For some reason, someone gets the idea that it's time to start showing Christmas movies again, but they forget to change the plot so one movie starts blending into the next. These movies seem to appeal to a particular set of people while the rest of us are left to endure them. By the time the Christmas season actually arrives, it usually is pretty easy to predict the ending in the first five minutes.

This year I found Christmas decorations displayed for sale as early as September!! Neighborhood light displays usually wait for Thanksgiving to pass, but once turned on you often need sunglasses just to drive in the night. And now it's time to purchase presents for those who were not wise enough to make those purchases earlier in the year. By the time Christmas actually arrives, most of us are bald and addicted to spiked eggnog while the kids throw the toys to the side and play with the boxes they came in. And somewhere in the corner gathering dust is the nativity scene we put out, meant to remind us of what the season is truly about.

While I can't promise you a "perfect" Christmas, perhaps I can provide tools to help remain peaceful in the midst of it all. First, let's eliminate as many of the "peace killers" as we can. The most common killers are:

Unmet expectation - it doesn't have to be perfect. Remember, the cracks are how the light gets in.
Finances - For Phyllis and I a big help was remembering that Christ only received three gifts at Christmas, that should probably be enough for our kids.
Crowds - This is going to happen, and hiding in a corner of your house is definitely not healthy. What we suggest is learning to recognize when crowds are becoming an issue and finding a place to sit and gather yourself uninterrupted for a short time. Then get back to it.
Diets - First of all don't let others shame you into a diet of any sort. When I was young, I was "too thin" and forced to eat more especially at holiday gatherings. Now I am old and all that so-called advice is showing around my middle. I am learning to leave food on my plate and let the starving people in Africa miss out on my family ham. It is probably more useful for me to support those efforts monetarily anyway.
Cabin Fever - Get out and enjoy this season. Don't close yourself in. It will only cause seasonal depression.
Seasonal Loss - The passing of loved ones is difficult any time of year, but it always seems to hit harder during the holidays. I suggest remembering your loved ones would not want you to spend the holidays gripped by depression. One of the healthiest things you could do would be to remember past holidays spent with those loved ones and the memories they generated, while moving forward and determining to create new memories.
Being Alone - It is inevitable, each of us will probably spend a few Christmases without family, but we don't have to spend it alone. Even if we are not invited to spend Christmas with someone else, we can seek out others who are similarly left alone at Christmas and provide a warm welcoming environment filled with Christ's love and peace. In fact it is one of the healthiest ways to participate in the holidays, whether we are alone or not!

Proactive steps toward a more peaceful Christmas include:

Take Care of You - Inventory where you are currently and refuse to take on anything that will move you out of God's peace.
Breathing Exercises - This has been a life saver for Phyllis and me. Breathe in for four seconds, hold for four, and release for six seconds. This will begin to reset our brain and help us to move past whatever just unnerved us.
Avoid the Controversial - While with family and friends this season, eliminate talk of politics, favorite sports teams, anything that might create angst in yourself or your visitors.
Incognito Santa - While attending events this season, look for opportunities to bless someone else, especially if you can do it without recognition. This can be a larger tip, cleaning their dishes, leaving a gift on the porch, anything that requires a little sacrifice on our part. The benefits are enormous.
Treat Yourself - Make time to treat yourself by doing something that brings you joy!
Planned Escape - have a safe place preselected and use it often if needed.
Tribal Time - Spend time with those people who allow you to just "be."
Sing - There are numerous benefits to singing and even more to just humming. Go ahead and make that joyful noise! No one said it had to be in tune.

Whatever you do this season, guard your peace! Focus on what the season is about. Make that the important event. Seek out where God wants you this season and find His joy as you fill that spot!

Your Identity Matters

Wed, 05 Jun 2024 18:15:27 GMT

In the chaotic world of racial injustice, gender confusion and attempted genocide, who you are matters!

Over the last week and a half or so, each time I go before the Lord and especially as I study the word (yes those are two different things), God seems to be pointing out the importance of recognizing identity. I honestly don’t think it is because Phyllis and I are looking again at the next groups we will be facilitating this fall. I felt the Lord directing my thoughts this way before I gave the groups conscious thought. I have been studying 1,2, and 3 John over the last ten days as well as Jude. Each of these books instructs how to recognize true believers and distinguish them from the wolves Satan plants within each flock. Over and over again, like an old vinyl record stuck in its groove, two identifying factors came to the surface. Does the person live a life of love and does the person live to obey God’s commands?

Both will be evident in the life of a believer because I don’t believe you can separate one from the other. Living a life of love means we are constantly pressed into the Father’s heart to learn how He wants to show His love today. It is not kissing my wife first thing in the morning or fixing breakfast for my kids before I shew them out the door for school, though those things might certainly be part of it. A life of love is the moment-by-moment choice to listen to the heart of God, willing at any moment to sacrifice what I want in life for what He wants to do in my life to bring transformation to the lives of others. It is the hardest thing in the world you will ever do. It is the constant laying myself down on the cross daily so that others might truly live. There is nothing more Christlike. And right there is where obedience enters the picture. We have a choice whether we will be obedient and make the sacrifice love demands or continue down the road we have chosen for ourselves.

Let me be the first to raise my hand and admit I don’t do this very well. But here is the really cool thing. All God asks of me is that I make the attempt every day and discuss with Him when I fail. He isn’t worried about my brokenness. He takes all the failed attempts that I am willing to offer Him, and amazingly glorifies Himself in them! What a truly amazing God we serve!

The "Tenth" Beatitude

ctbm16@gmail.com (Robin Primrose) — Mon, 01 Apr 2024 17:27:08 GMT

What to do about change?!

Broadcast Radio labs were a tricky class requirement in my major during my university years. Registering for the lab meant taking a grease pencil and blocking out the time on the laminated sign-up form next to the lab door. The tricky thing is that anyone could erase your grease markings and simply replace your name with theirs and now your slot became theirs. The fact that I was attending a “Christian,” school didn’t seem to dissuade those greedy for the time slot from falling into the sin of deception. Too often, those in my major would need to register for a different time slot while looking into the window and watching the culprit wave while doing the work we had anticipated completing for ourselves.

On one such occasion, one of my dormmates informed me that there are actually ten beatitudes, or at least there were meant to be. Growing up in church, I was quite familiar with the term “beatitude,” and was certain that the scriptures Matt. 5:3-12 included only nine. I took the bait and asked whatever in the world he meant. His response has helped guide me to this day, and I believe, might be useful for you as well. He informed me that the tenth beatitude, though not recorded with the others, was written on every page of the bible in one way or another. Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be bent out of shape! Though comical, I quickly saw that he was right.

There have been several things that have happened for Phyllis and me this morning that have put this particular beatitude to the test. Things outside our control changed and it certainly wasn’t comfortable. God brought this ditty back to my memory and I was challenged with how I would respond. I could dig my heels in and scream, fuss, maybe even cuss a little, or I could recognize that even in this, God was working in my life. Either way, the result would be the same, the only difference was how out of shape or damaged I would be in the end.

We have entered into the spring season. It is a season of growth and new beginnings. If there is anything certain about growth and new beginnings it is that it always involves change . Change is such an uncomfortable word but if we are alive, we are changing. Allow me to encourage you to learn this tenth beatitude, “Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.” Allow yourself to take on whatever shape our Potter chooses as we become His precious masterpiece.

Beauty for ashes

Thu, 30 Nov 2023 16:44:37 GMT

Phyllis Primrose : November 30, 2023

...the oil of joy for mourning....

Thirty-five years ago, on the date of November 29, my mother went into the hospital, never to come home again, at least not on Earth. She would die December 11. At that time, we were living in California while Rob studied in the language school for the Military. We had only been married six months and had decided to try to get pregnant. My parents were planning to visit us that December for Christmas. I was so excited for the opportunity to tell my mom that her baby would soon have a baby of her own. I never got the chance to inform her. I did conceive in February of 1989 and on the very date my mom went into the hospital the previous year, I gave birth to our first child, a beautiful girl who shares my mother's middle name and has so many features of my mother. What was so tragic for me one year became my first of 3 greatest joys the following year. Never doubt that God can take your greatest sorrow and turn it into joy.

Peace in the Storms of Life

Mon, 14 Aug 2023 20:53:49 GMT

When life is crashing down around you...

I am beginning to recognize that those stories from the bible we grew up hearing truly are very relevant in my life today! Yeah, call me thick headed but I am watching the bible unfold in my life every day! It has only taken sixty-some years for me to recognize it. Allow me to elaborate on the most recent event.

Many of you know we do a great deal of traveling. As many miles as we put on our car, it is inevitable that we encounter difficulties. But none of us ever expect those difficulties, they always seem to blindside us. So let me remind you this happened with Jesus and his disciples while they were on the boat crossing the Sea of Galilee. The storms raged, the disciples feared for their lives and Jesus was sleeping through it all. Eventually, someone decided to wake Jesus up and inform him that they were all about to perish and that it was way past time for him to take part in the freaking out process. We’ll pause there for a moment.

This past week, Phyllis and I spent time in the mountains of Tennesee spending time with some friends and opening ourselves to what God might have for us moving forward. We were all leaving one location and moving to another about 30 minutes away, Phyllis and I in one vehicle and they in another. The skies were starting to get dark and it was apparent we needed to be on our way. As we drove, I asked God to go before us and protect us. About 20 minutes into our drive the bottom fell out and we found ourselves in the middle of a gulley washer! We watched as sizable tree limbs broke and began to fall, but there was no place for us to take cover and I felt the urge to just keep driving. I did my best to keep my eyes open for the possibility of a tornado while I was driving but saw nothing. As the storm began to let up, we turned a corner and found the road was completely blocked by a fallen tree. Thank you, God, that the storm had let up so we saw it in time. We turned around and backtracked and I noticed, about a half mile back, a farmhouse with three trees in the front yard that had been snapped and blown over. Each was fairly young and about eight to ten inches in diameter. My thoughts were, “Wow! The wind was stronger than I thought!" By this time, the storm had completely passed and we stopped our friends before they came to the tree and informed them we needed to find another route. We then spent the next two and a half hours looking for that other route. Everywhere we turned a tree had fallen and blocked the route. We must have tried 10 different backroads before we found a way through.

As I sit here several days later, I realize several things with spiritual implications. First, while I felt God urging us to leave, I did not pray with my wife so that she also heard God’s voice in our departure. While driving, I was at peace with the entire thing. I had heard God’s voice to go, but my poor wife was pulling her hair out. I had not given her the chance to hear God’s voice as well. I am sorry honey, please forgive me. The second thing I recognize is that in the middle of it all, with tree limbs falling and the wind (or tornado) blowing strong enough to bring dozens of trees down, not once did I feel the effects of the wind on the car. I mean it was like we were in a bubble and the wind just wasn’t hitting us. I was able to be at peace while everything else was falling apart. That is how powerful hearing God’s voice can be. Christ was able to sleep through the storm because he had heard God’s voice earlier telling him to go. It gave him the power to speak peace to the world around him! The number one lesson I have learned from all this, listen for God’s voice and carry it with you as you enter the storm! Oh, and last I heard, they were still trying to determine if it was strong winds or a tornado that took all those trees down.

Clean That Weapon, Private!

Tue, 06 Jun 2023 19:06:25 GMT

Keep your family safe!

As a veteran, I can appreciate that the military analogies used in the Bible can be difficult for many to fully grasp. Not everyone has been called upon to quell an uprising. However, all of us can relate to navigating the minefield of difficult relationships at work. Each of us understands the need to find Godly cover while the enemy lobs grenades that threaten our marriages. We all know the loss felt when one of our loved ones goes home before us. The battle is not the same and neither is the pain, but it might help us understand the analogies a little better. Our battles hit us full force every day when we wake up, whether we are prepared for them or not. If we aren’t prepared and “geared up,” we can be certain of a very disappointing outcome.

With that in mind, I want to discuss something that was considered very basic in my military training, but so critical, we were told our very lives depended on it, cleaning our weapons. It seemed we were firing our weapons daily while in boot camp, and every day we would return from the range to spend hours making sure our weapons were cleansed of any residue. I had to be meticulous because a single misfire meant someone other than the target could be wounded or worse by the weapon I was using.

As a Father, I know the temptation to return from work, my civilian battlefield, and just plop down in the recliner and decompress from the long day. I gave into that temptation more than I would like to admit. The problem is that there is always residue from the battlefield on my weapon as well as on me. It is impossible to go into battle and not carry the residue of that battle. I am pretty sure this is why Jesus chose to wash feet rather than hands, heads, or any other body part. You see our feet are the one part of our body that is certain to carry residue from the world around us, and Christ was showing us how important it was to cleanse ourselves and those around us of that residue. My first job as a father or mother in the kingdom of God when I return home, is to make sure the residue of being in the world is cleansed from myself, my weapon, and my family, before I think about relaxing.

I am sure there are those that feel I am being uber spiritual with all this, but my wife and I have found that if we forget to ask God to remove any residue or ungodly attachment after any ministry, the peace in our home is immediately attacked and we can feel the repercussions for months sometimes. I have come to a point in my life, I can’t stand to feel God’s peace lifting. It causes my life to go into turmoil and I feel like a fish on land straining to breathe just a little of the peace that is missing. And then I remember, I forgot to clean my weapon!

Good Friday, or is it?

Fri, 07 Apr 2023 16:28:36 GMT

What's so good about it?

Have you ever had one of those mornings where someone says good morning to you and for some reason, it is all you can do not to scream, cuss, or cry? Life seems anything but good and the fact that others don't see that just goes all over you!

Imagine how those who were close to Jesus, loved Jesus and walked with Jesus must have felt on "Good" Friday. They watched him be beaten and crucified, not knowing that Sunday was going to change the world. They watched as Friday nailed all the hopes they had placed in Christ to a tree designed for a criminal, not understanding that a few short hours later would start an entirely different story. Sunday would bring freedom from so many of the chains they had carried through life. But the seventy-two hours in between seemed like death to each of the hopes they had begun to have. The changes they had dared to hope for had died on that cross, beaten beyond recognition and drained of all life, and there was no hope left for them. What a difference seventy-two hours can make, because seventy-two hours later, as Christ rose from that grave, a new hope was born, one that could never be killed!

Some of us have walked through our own "Good Friday," situations. For some, it has been an agonizing three days. Some have had months of death while others have had years. For us, it was twenty-five years. But Sunday is always just around the corner. It came for us and it is coming for you. We can't see the light in all the darkness, but if we just hold on and believe that Sunday is on the way, it will arrive!

I am drinking coffee on this Good Friday from a mug that says, "In the difficult moments, thank God!" I encourage you to do just that. If you are having a not-so-good Friday trial in your life, right now, thank God for something, anything you are able to grab hold of and don't give up! Your answer and your miracle in on the way! Sunday is coming!

Happy Easter!

This Year I Resolve...

ctbm16@gmail.com (Robin Primrose) — Tue, 03 Jan 2023 20:32:30 GMT

Is this how it works?

So everyone, repeat it with me..., the definition of insanity is... doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results. So why do we start each year claiming, this year "I" am going to make myself different? Each year I make new resolutions only to be frustrated by the end of the second month. But this year it occurred to me, after 63 years of banging my head against the wall, I am not the one who is supposed to be fixing me. I know, I know, I hear sacred cows all over bellowing and threatening to stampede. The traditional church has taught that I must repent and change, and while that is true, I have learned what I was to repent of and what I was to change is quite different than what I and many Christians have been taught. To understand this, let's look at Adam and Eve.

What was the core sin that Adam and Eve bit into? Was it fruit, or was it rather the choice of whose word they would listen to and accept as truth? The real sin that happened that terrible day wasn't so much the eating of the fruit, but that they decided to take responsibility for their own lives, as if God weren't doing a good enough job, and chose to listen to the father of lies instead of the Father of Truth. We have been listening to the father of lies ever since and have determined to "make ourselves better" all on our own, ignoring God's offer to do it. If we look at the Pharisees, isn't this the issue with which they struggled? They tried to make themselves holy by their own efforts, but it is ONLY the blood of Jesus that can make man holy. I have learned that God is all about relationship and that instead of trying to make myself holy, I need to turn to Him and ask Him to make me holy. My repentance should be repenting for trying to do this on my own instead of relying on Him to do it. Therefore my change should be to trust Him to fix me, whatever those fixes need to be, and trust Him for the steps to get there. No wonder my New Years' resolutions have been so fruitless!

Each of Us a Drummer Boy

ctbm16@gmail.com (Robin Primrose) — Wed, 30 Nov 2022 17:22:59 GMT

My Drummer Boy Christmas

Over the last couple of years, I have been asking Father God to make Christmas truly meaningful to me. I realized that closing the door to feelings had turned me into a bit of a Scrooge and I didn’t like it at all. That’s the trouble with blocking our emotions and feelings, we don’t get to select which ones get blocked and which don’t. If we block one, we block them all. I was determined to open the door as far as I was able and experience life, especially Christmas, fully. I had no idea what I was about to experience!

Last year, at the beginning of December, I was invited to serve at Randy Clark’s School of Supernatural Ministry with Trisha Frost and the Shiloh Place Ministry team. During my time there, God began to soften my heart. I found I was truly enjoying the celebration as the world, both Christian and secular, prepared for Christmas day. Shopping, something I had come to dread, became a real joy as I looked around at people hurrying here and there. I began to realize that God was answering my prayer and was thrilled. So far, no big deal, right? But just wait.

The last day of the conference just happened to coincide with the day the students left for Christmas break and the school was pulling out all the stops. Each year the school holds a candlelight service for its students before sending them off. I had experienced it before but this time it was especially meaningful for me. The worship leaders began by singing For King and Country’s rendition of “The Little Drummer Boy.” It’s a song I have grown up hearing and it never meant anything special to me. I remember singing it in grade school but I was never touched in the way I was last year. On the first note, for some reason, I began to cry buckets of tears! I mean I was ugly crying! Tears poured down my cheeks as I considered the rag-tag little boy standing before the Son of God, fully understanding who Jesus was, yet bereft of anything to give Jesus. Somehow God allowed me to see myself in that situation. What in the world could I ever bring the Son of God that could ever be a worthy gift? I had nothing. I was poor as the drummer boy and for years had never realized how similar I was to him. My tears continued to flow throughout the rest of the service. I can’t really say why. They weren’t sad tears or happy tears. I think more than anything they were tears of awe at the heart of God revealed in the gift of His Son and even as I write this blog they are returning.

I believe with all my heart Christ wanted to come to this world and would have if the choice was His, but it wasn’t. The choice was entirely His Father’s. This year I want to challenge each of you to consider the sacrifice God made in sending us the precious gift of His Son. We had nothing to give Him in return. We most certainly didn’t earn the gift and never could. There is nothing about us that warrants such a gift and nothing we could ever do to repay it. It was simply a gift. Nothing expected in return. For me, it continues to be tears of gratitude, but what will you do in the face of such unconditional love? My prayer is that as you look into this love, you too will find the Drummer Boy in you.

Holiday Cheer?

ctbm16@gmail.com (Robin Primrose) — Fri, 04 Nov 2022 19:13:25 GMT

How to find it!

Hard to believe but we are quickly approaching that time of year. The turkeys will soon go on sale, along with the cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie filling. Christmas decorations have been displayed in stores for almost a month. Festive lights will soon cover the lawns of our homes and everything will feel like it should be right in the world. But is it really?!

It is so easy to forget that life doesn’t change just because the holidays have arrived. It is simply that we have chosen to change ourselves to celebrate. The reason for celebration is important and we shouldn’t lose sight of that, but there will still be new births recorded in history during this time and, unfortunately, new deaths. Blunt I know but I have a point. The honest truth is that each of us will experience some sort of sadness and happiness this season. It is a fact of life. Remembering to allow for both can help us navigate through even the stormiest season.

One of the most self-destructive decisions made during the holidays is the mandate to only feel joy. Watching the rest of the world celebrating causes us to feel that we must feel joy as well so we bottle up our true feelings and deny their existence even to ourselves. A more honest look at the world is that at that moment the people around me seem happy but in a moment, when the pumpkin pie cooks too long, they will quickly become unhappy. Give yourself permission to feel all emotions during the holidays. It is okay to be unhappy, especially during the holidays. Wasn’t this why the Prince of Peace came?

God spoke of David as “a man after my heart.” I can’t think of a greater title to bestow on anyone so I often look to the Psalms to guide me through the ups and downs of life. I think it is important to see them as a template with which I can pattern my own life. David, even while in the throws of despair as in Psalm 13, boldly states how he feels. He doesn’t hesitate to proclaim that life is the pits and it feels so unfair today , but he goes on to say that God’s mighty hand was with him in the past and he knows God will turn things around and once again return joy into his life.

This year, take time to celebrate, but if you are in pain, celebrate in pain, and with David declare, “This is what the Lord has done for me and I know He will do it again to return me to a life of joy!”

What you focus on you give power.

Thu, 01 Sep 2022 20:26:45 GMT

The saying proves true.

I have discovered it to be even more so over the last 2 months. Somehow I hurt my foot over fourth of July when our son came for a visit and taught me how to play Disc Golf. I noticed after he went home that the heel of my foot started hurting. I then discovered that this was Planters Fasciitus which can be very painful. I have had friends who have experienced this and dealt with it in the past and I did not fully understand their whining about it, until it hit me!! I have had to fight to not give in to this pain, which at times, has been brutal. I have done daily exercises, massages, heat, ice, you name it, I think I have tried any home remedy for the pain to stop. I bought a great pair of support shoes and for much of the summer have thrown my flip flops into the closet and worn nothing but what I call, “old people shoes”!! But in all of this, I have learned that I can choose what I am going to dwell on and focus on. I must say, that on certain days, the struggle to choose to go out and be active with friends, has been very real. Now, on the flip side, once I determined that I was not going to allow this pain to rule me, I have continued to go and do and be with friends and family over the summer and live and laugh in spite of this pain. You can determine to rise above what is in your face at the moment, whether that is a physical condition, a relationship pain, things that look pretty bleak in our country, financial troubles, career troubles, whatever. You get to choose each day how you are going to handle the tough stuff in your world at that moment. You can become bitter or better. Don’t allow your circumstances or situations to control you. Take charge of how you are going to respond to it. You can only think of one thing at a time and if you are busy focusing on the negative, it will effect everything around you. I encourage you, if you have been stuck on the negative and missing out on the good all around us,( there really is good in the world) just for today, try to determine you are going to be thankful and focus on the beauty that is all around us.

Don't box me in!

ctbm16@gmail.com (Robin Primrose) — Fri, 13 Aug 2021 20:29:26 GMT

I recall vividly the first time I played Tackle-the-boy-with-the-ball. Long name and we just shortened it to, “Dogpile!” I was eight years old and was playing it with at least five other boys, most much larger than I was. From my earliest memories, I had always been terrified when my breathing was impeded even slightly. Forget putting my head underwater. When my grandfather picked up the sleeping bag with me sinking to the bottom while he swung me, I panicked. Even dusty roads caused issues for me and I never understood why. When it was my turn to have the ball and be tackled it was great fun up until the point I had five other bodies pressing me into the ground and my breathing was slightly hampered. According to the other boys I, “Hulked out.” I started throwing bodies off me like they were match sticks and I was furious! I turned into an animal trying to survive. When I came back to my senses all the other boys were standing around amazed at the transformation. Between fight-or-flight and adrenaline, I had become someone completely different. Fortunately, my friends thought it was cool and we kept playing, but I made sure I stayed on top of the pile for years after that, and eventually I “grew” out of it. But I always wondered why I had this difficulty.

Several decades later the answer was revealed. Now a forty-something-year-old adult, I learned that, as a six-month-old infant, I had been abused by a babysitter and her son. They took great joy in placing me on the floor and placing their feet in my chest in order to gain compliance. I had known they had been abusive but had no idea the extent of their abuse. It took another twenty years for it to click. Their feet and overt efforts to control me had left deep scars on my soul, even at that early age. Somehow, in God’s mercy, I had just grown out of it, or so I thought until last week.

My wife and I were learning a new game with my two daughters and their husbands when I perceived an infraction of the rules. When I brought it up, everyone started shouting and I was confused as to why. In my mind, it was a dogpile and I was on the bottom of the heap. The next thing I knew the discussion had changed from the rules of the game to my behavior and how I had become, “hostile” and aggressive in my tone and verbiage. What is worse is that this was a frequent behavior and I recognized it. I quickly dropped into despair. I had been emotionally abusive and I not only felt powerless to stop it but couldn’t even see it when it was happening.

After a great deal of prayer and tears the next day, I realized that my feelings during the outburst at the game, were identical to my feelings at the bottom of the dogpile when I was eight. There had been a soul wound established as an infant I had known nothing about and my precious family had helped me to see it. God made short work of the wound and I am looking forward to testing out His patchwork during our next game.

My point is, even as infants we are able to receive wounds that will affect us for the rest of our lives if we don’t take care of them. If you find repetitive behaviors that you can’t explain, consider your early years or even your mother’s pregnancy. God can and will heal those wounds, but we have to get on the operating table to let Him do it. So, jump on up! It is so worth it!!!

Your Struggles Today are Someone's Hope Tomorrow

ctbm16@gmail.com (Robin Primrose) — Sun, 21 Feb 2021 21:03:07 GMT

Why the Hell am I in this Hell?

My life was a wreck. My marriage was on the rocks, my kids hated me, and my relationship with God was only a habit at best. I wanted more but had no idea how to get there. I had reached the bottom and life was just a routine I walked through in order to survive. Then Phyllis and I read a book together, and our lives began to change. The name of the book is unimportant for this blog, but life began to take new shape for me. Within a few short months I began to experience some very real emotional healing, soon followed by physical, scientifically proven, healing! The excitement in me began to build and I couldn’t keep up. Phyllis and I realized if this kind of healing was available, what kind of monsters would we be to keep it to ourselves and Crossing the Bar was birthed. Months later I realized I was living out 2 Corinthians 1:3-4. In the Message translation it says, “All praise to the God and Father of our Master, Jesus the Messiah! Father of all mercy! God of all healing counsel! He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us.” There isn’t a painful, hellish day from my past that I wouldn’t live all over again if it meant I could reach more people. My desire isn’t just to bring healing to people filled with pain so extreme that it holds them captive, but to watch as God heals them so completely that they then bring that same healing into their personal world. Nothing is more fulfilling!

There is always more...

Fri, 09 Oct 2020 21:16:30 GMT

This is a subtitle for your new post

Recently we attended an open house for some friends of ours who had bought a piece of property that needed to be remodeled. Almost everyone told them to just tear the house down and start over because it would take too long and wasn't worth the effort. One person recognized it had good bones and that is all it took to begin the process. It has been a 3.5 year process, requiring a lot of time, hard work, changing plans, tears, and changing plans again, but they stuck with the process and today this home is a beautiful restored home whose foundation, original flooring, and walls had been solid all along. Because my friends did not give up, this home has new life and a new purpose. Are there still things that need done? Absolutely. It's a lot like us. There is always more. More healing, more changing, more growing, but here is the deal. God will never give up on us, just like our friends did not give up on the property they were restoring. He stays in the process with us. Don't get overwhelmed with all that needs changed. Rejoice in each step along the journey. I was cleaning our porch this morning and realized it had been too long since it had been given some attention. I almost stopped before I even got started, but soon realized that even if I only get it a little cleaner, I am making progress simply because I started. As long as I remember not to give up I can be happy with the process because there will always be more. Don't give up! Christ has not given up on you!!

"...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

Philippians 1:6 NIV

Where have all the flowers gone?

Fri, 04 Sep 2020 23:07:39 GMT

We like to go to the mountains. It's crazy, but even though we live at the beach, it's in the mountains that we feel closest to God and can be genuinely refreshed. There is one particular cabin we have found where the view from the deck is truly breath taking, especially in the spring. Flowers cover the foreground, while majestic mountains, millennia old, fill the background. How can anyone see such wonder and claim there is no God? But one day, while at the cabin, the clouds had moved in and were so thick it blocked the view. All that could be seen were dark threatening clouds. Were the mountains and flowers gone? In our everyday lives we love the mountain top experiences where God seems especially close and the view of our lives is pristine and unblemished, but does all that vanish just because storm clouds roll in? Of course not. God is just as close. His word tells us that He will never leave us or forsake us. Why then are we so quick to forget the view of what is eternal and trade it for the things that are only here for a short time? We have a couple of friends who are worship leaders, people of music whom God has anointed to draw people into God's throne room through music. During Hurricane Florence, their house, which they had owned less than a year was flooded. That would have been bad enough but less than a month prior to the storm, the primary bread winner had lost his job suddenly and I might add seemingly unfairly. In a situation like that, it can be so hard to see the mountains! What is amazing is that in the middle of all of it, while there was still water filling their home, God gave them the most beautiful worship song and while the storm passed and the damage with it, that song remains and is a source of encouragement to many and will be for years to come. They didn't focus on the storm but on the mountain of God's word. "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deut. 31:6 NIV For today, choose to trust what is eternal, rather than what is temporary.

How Deep is Your Pain?

Sat, 13 Jun 2020 17:22:12 GMT

Is my pain triune as well?

"And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground." (Luke 22:44 NIV) How deep does someone's pain have to be to sweat blood? Just as amazing is the fact that all Christ was physically doing at this time was praying. How could something so spiritual cause such astounding physical results? Can emotional or even spiritual pain cause physical results? According to this verse, the answer seems to be yes.

Our bodies are connected to our minds and our spirits. If one of these is out of order or stuck because of trauma, anxiety, or fear, then the trauma is going to find a way to come out. Your body stores pain, not just physical pain but emotional and spiritual pain. It is a proven scientific fact. And before someone declares that there is no such thing as spiritual pain, let’s refer again to the above verse. I know of nothing as spiritual as prayer, yet it is prayer that was causing the pain. Look at the many emotions of God, who is spirit, revealed in scripture. I'm sure this argument could go on but this is not the place for it nor is it the reason for this post.

Frequently, a patient will explain symptoms to a doctor. The doctor will examine the patient, then respond with, "There is no medical explanation for your symptoms." In no way is the doctor saying that the symptoms aren't real, only that there are no "physical" reason to explain them. The person is truly suffering, and many times it is the result of ignored pain or trauma on an emotional or spiritual level.

I Peter 5:7 tells us to "...cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." (NIV) Oxford defines "cast" as to throw something forcibly in a specified direction. I don't know about you, but the image I get as I contemplate this verse is what I might do were I to be asleep and wake to find a tarantula on my chest. I think God intends our motives to be that intense as we "cast" our anxiety towards him. Holding on to anxiety can be poisonous.

Is there something in your life today that you feel anxious, worried, or uncertain about? Let's choose to throw (cast) it at the feet of Christ because he deeply cares, likes, and is quite fond of you. He is always there to take your pain. His love for us is so immense. Today, make a choice to let him have your pain, inside and out.

Isolation is the pits!

Fri, 27 Mar 2020 16:56:34 GMT

No really, its the pits!

As an introvert as well as a PTSD survivor, the sound of shelter in place was music to my soul. The problem is that isolation will bring you to the pit of depression in very short order. As I write, I can think of so many "good" reasons to isolate myself right now. After all I fall into that wonderful and comfortable category of "high risk" as far as COVID19 is concerned. I can dance merrily under its shadow and feel no guilt whatsoever. The problem is, isolating is guaranteed to throw me into depression and the terrible grip of PTSD. So how do I isolate without going into isolation? I believe the answer lies in my focus. As I isolate, am I focusing on my own wants, needs, or desires, or on the other hand, am I concentrating on the needs and comfort of others? I have to confess over the last week I have been a bit of a lounge lizard, while my wife has been out (she is not high risk) bringing comfort and supplies to others while keeping a healthy distance. She has been telling me for sometime now that we, meaning me, needed to blog about isolation. I, like most husbands, have been putting it off. As I write this now, I realize how dangerous that was for me, and how selfish it was towards you and I must apologize. While needing to stay home as much as possible, technology has offered a world of opportunity for me to be "un-isolated," if you will. How kind would it have been for me to reach out via Facetime or Skype and check on family and friends. It is so easy to text and actively contribute to the wellness of others, yet in my habit, I neglected to consider the possibility. I can be so very selfish. The truth is there is an entire world available to me at my fingertips were I to get up off my selfish backside and focus on others. Let me encourage you to join me in an effort to cast off the restraints and focus on those around us that might need our help. Let's find an innovative way to reach out to people in need. For today, let's choose to be less selfish!

What is hope?

Fri, 10 Jan 2020 21:40:49 GMT

This is actually written by Phyllis and Robin

Hope - an optimistic state of mind; expectation or desire of positive outcome with respect to events and circumstances.

The biblical meaning of hope is the confident expectation of what God has promised and its strength is in His faithfulness.

So as the wife of a military veteran fighting PTSD, where do I find hope? When I have had to move out with the kids in tow because we all watched as out of nowhere his entire countenance changed and he decides its a good idea to throw his fist through the wall? Where do I find hope then? When I catch my husband looking at pornography for the 10th time, drinking himself blind yet again, of find his stash of unprescribed pain killers in the pocket of his favorite jeans, how am I supposed to have an "expectation of a positive outcome?" When I have done everything I know to do but nothing seems to be changing, where do I find this, "expectation of what God has promised?" These are valid questions spouses of those battling PTSD ask every day and the answers they usually get are candy coated placebos that actually do very little to help.

The answer is far from simple and must be sought out by each individual. But it is certainly NOT a simple "Oh honey, don't you know Christ's blood will heal all things!" The truth is that hope can only help when it is combined with faith. And faith is impotent if there is no place for defeat. So let me try to paint a picture. You, as the spouse, have fallen over the cliff of PTSD. Hope has miraculously thrown a rope to you before you hit bottom, but now you hang suspended well above the jagged rocks of despair waiting for you at the bottom of the gorge. Faith is what gives you the power to tie a knot in the bottom of that rope, allowing you to hang on to hope. It gives you the ability to hang on despite what you feel, knowing that somehow, God will turn this around and use it for your good.

I know this because, for over twenty years, I held on to hope that my husband and my marriage would get better. Its how I got through some pretty rough days. I can tell you from experience, heaviness is not from Christ or His kingdom. Cling to hope. But with that hope, have faith that God will show up to help you. One of my favorite verses in all of this, was Psalm 27:13-14. In the Passion Translation it says "13 Yet I totally trust you to rescue me one more time, so that I can see once again how good you are while I'm still alive. 14 Here is what I've learned through it all: Don't give up; don't be impatient; be entwined as one with the Lord. Be brave and courageous, and never lose hope. Yes keep on waiting - for He will never disappoint you!"

Its a new year. Let's cling to hope for every area of our lives!

Holiday Magic?

Sat, 09 Nov 2019 18:27:36 GMT

Are you serious?!

There are two words that come to mind about this time of year, and neither of them is "giving" or "thanksgiving". To be completely honest, they are, "hide" and "away" immediately followed by, "quick!" For so long, "Away in a Manger," sounded like the description for a great vacation resort. I am in my fourth year of healing from PTSD and I have to admit, I still enter this time of year with some fear and trepidation. I know there are many who feel the same. Crowds are bad enough outside but for many of us, this is the time of year when those crowds now enter our house as invited guests! Opportunity for decompression seems all but nonexistent. As I am writing this, my wife just called to add another event to our social calendar. So I thought this might be a good time to share what I plan on doing this year to avoid the classic PTSD meltdown. I am not saying this will work for everyone, or even that it will work for me, but I have come to realize that defeating PTSD is all about little choices intentionally made in an effort to become healthy. So here is my own special Holiday Recipe.

Begin by carving out an appropriate portion of alone time each day! Go to my room if I must but get "centered." Remember to enjoy and experience what this season is all about.
Sprinkle in the crowds. No they shouldn't be avoided. But I don't have to go to everything either.
When I am in a crowd, any crowd, look for opportunities to be someone else's miracle. It doesn't have to cost money or be some grand gesture. But it does need to require sacrifice on my part and, depending on the situation, all that might be is a sincere smile to an overworked store clerk, or a worn out wife who has given so much to create the meal. Scratch that, the worn out wife better get much more than just a smile. The important thing is that I find ways I am able to make someone else smile.
Understand that I have limitations and guard those boundaries fanatically. It's all fun and games until someone runs out of joy especially when that someone is me. When the joy runs out, go back to step one and start all over.

So the last two steps didn't sound too much like a recipe, but hey, I didn't promise it would look good. I also didn't promise it would turn out great, but I figure it's like cooking when it's most fun. It's an adventurous journey of discovery. I will let you know how it turns out.

The Freedom of Forgiveness

ctbm16@gmail.com (Robin Primrose) — Sun, 13 Oct 2019 21:22:43 GMT

Where true healing starts.

So I could spend a lot of time in this blog, telling you how beneficial the act of forgiveness is. How it improves heart health and lowers blood pressure. How it improves mental health and builds the immune system. The problem is, I don't believe that is enough, sometimes, to get us to forgive. I mean deep down in our most secret being, we each know instinctively that we should forgive. We watch as the lack of forgiveness destroys our bodies and relationships, slowly and painfully. So it really doesn't surprise us when we hear that the act of forgiveness is actually healthy.

But it doesn't seem to matter when we have to deal with the really big painful issues in life. When we are confronted with those monsters that make Hitler look like a little lost school boy. Matthew 6:15 bounces around in the back of our head and makes us that much angrier. If we don't forgive, our heavenly Father won't forgive us. How can a just God ask me to forgive my parents who abused me, the neighbor who raped me, or the murderer who took my son? Worse how am I supposed to forgive God when He let the flood take my entire family.

We are born wanting to see justice, no, we demand it! We fight for it as if it were a God given right. The problem is, God never created that part of us. Justice requires us to see what is right and what is wrong, an ability we stole with original sin. Without knowing details of an event beyond the limits of our pain, we consider ourselves more worthy to judge someone than God. “This woman you gave me, God. She is the one that ate the fruit. I would never have eaten it if she hadn't already done so. You must have given me someone defective! Why would you do such an unloving thing?” All the while God is hoping that we will love our wife and lay our life down for her the way Christ laid His life down for the church.

The problem is that just as we were never created to judge, neither were we created with an ability to forgive. None of us can truly forgive unless God gives us that ability. This leaves us in a terrible place. We are required to forgive if we ourselves want to be forgiven, yet we have no ability to forgive. Beyond that, any healing we might receive can only begin with forgiveness. How hopeless our lives are... But God!

God didn't ask us to feel like forgiving. He just said do it. Christ didn't tell Peter don't be afraid of the water, He just said walk on it. One is just as impossible as the other, but the Master requires it of us. And so we take the step out of the boat, certain we will sink. With our words we say, “I forgive you,” just as certain that our feelings will not change. And all of the sudden a miracle just as holy and tremendous as the virgin birth is unleashed in our hearts and somehow we begin to feel forgiveness start. It's not that we stop wanting to see justice, it is simply that we no longer demand to be responsible for seeing justice carried out. We never could to begin with.

So the question is, are you ready to be healed? Are you ready to step out of the boat? Are you ready to get off the throne and allow God to take His rightful place in your life? Are you ready to forgive? Are you ready to be forgiven? Are you ready to be free?

PTSD Myth Challenged

Sat, 17 Aug 2019 16:35:52 GMT

"I'm not on the front lines...

... so I can't have PTSD, right?" This is something we hear all the time. The truth is, trauma hits everyone of us. It doesn't discriminate based on job description, gender, race or religion. And if you are able to experience trauma, you are able to fall into the battle with PTSD. Statistics tell us that everyday 123 people will commit suicide. Of those 123, only 22 will be service members or veterans. That means that less than 1/5th of those who take their lives today will be veterans. Some will be current or former first responders. Some will be doctors or lawyers. Some will be locksmiths, plumbers, office managers or housewives. Some will be our children. Many of these will act as a result of PTSD they never knew they had.
and so never got the treatment they so desperately needed.

The cold hard truth is that each of us will experience some sort of trauma many times throughout our lives. Life happens. Disasters strike. Jobs are lost. Marriages end. Life comes to a conclusion for ones we hold very dear and just like that trauma enters our lives. We sometimes don't even recognize it at first because of how deceptive it can be. We have had the privileged to minister to someone who lost a best friend due to an unfortunate drug interaction during surgery. Two months later when they needed surgery for a broken ankle, they found themselves in the middle of full blown PTSD. What is trauma for one person will not be trauma for another, but the bottom line is we each will experience some sort of trauma and if we don't deal with it when we experience it, it will turn into PTSD.